if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just googled if crying burns calories
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
