Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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