After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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