apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
