I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i out mim tonsoeep
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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