Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So vagazzling was a success
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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