I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
