You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
