I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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