My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
