bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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