you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
