im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
