The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
