You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
