i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
