We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
it's like heaven, but drunker
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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