creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
