i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
