using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
