It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
