I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
