she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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