We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
