you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The police scanner is talking about you again....
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
