I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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