Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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