I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
