The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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