haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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