just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
