her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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