Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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