i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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