WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I am mentally ready for anal.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
