Hippo gnu deer
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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