he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
