I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize