How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
