it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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