I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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