This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
