I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Randomize
