It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
