The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
did i just pee glitter
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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