Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
