I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
