If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
