I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
