Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
