HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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