I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
