Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Randomize
