I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
