john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
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