If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
