I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
either way he was missing a nipple.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
