How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
