Where is the hickey?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
