If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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