Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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