On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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