The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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