I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
