fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
