my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
