I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
