so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize