just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
