i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
