I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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